where am i from again
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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