Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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