All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
