You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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