Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
