They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
