Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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