Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
