Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
