Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
