Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
