Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
