The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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