So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
