idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
