I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
