HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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