My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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