Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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