I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
