too bad you live with your parents still
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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