So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
