wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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