How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
