Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
