where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
