there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
