he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
sex in a hospital.. check
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
