8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
