I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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