How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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