As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
