Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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