how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
