you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
