Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
