that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
