sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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