New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
