Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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