The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
