i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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