Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
