do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
