are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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