you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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