maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
