Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
