just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
