Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
