There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
