dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
