We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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