brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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