So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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