I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
